Solution for the Deep Horizon disaster

Solution for Resolving the Oil Rig disaster.
By Richard Rios

In light of the recent oil rig explosion and subsequent oil flow into the Gulf of Mexico I’m declaring a war on this catastrophe and calling it a “War On Oil Proliferation and Sanity (WOOPAS)”. I know this will be shocking at first but it appears that the only way to get funding for solutions in the world is to declare a war on something. Yes folks, we are apparently more than happy to provide hard earned dollars to something we can blow up or use some new technical gadget on. Since the Russians recommended using a nuclear weapon on the thing I can see how this can be even more appealing to those that want to see a really big boom if all else fails. Yes, we are talking the mother of all wars baby. Since this could impact the human population for years to come maybe the folks that built the Georgia Guidestones will get their wish and reduce the world population to no more that 500,000,000 bipeds. Georgia Guidestones
Heaven Forbid for all faiths.



Don Zurdo

How can this solution be achieved? I will list my criteria as follows.

1. After declaring that the Earth is at fault for preventing us from exploiting this oil by hiding it more than 5,000 feet below the ocean surface and Mother Nature signing the (CHYRT) CAN’T HIDE YOUR RESOURCES TREATY, we ask congress for a Trillion Dollars. This person wants to know how this happened. What Caused the explosion?

Since we bailed out the Federal Reserve and their banking institutions they will only be to happy to print more of the paper stuff as long as they get their 6%. What a deal, I can see them salivating as this looks even more promising. They can continue making money on this as well by tying it to a Derivative and betting against it using Goldman Sachs as the go to company for managing this transaction.


2. Now that we are capitalized we can start by bringing in the big stuff.

a. We will need some new boats and planes outfitted with the latest sonar, skimmers, pontoons that can suck up the water like a vacuum and, chemical dispersement guns (I see the military contractors helping with this).

b. This mission also needs new dispersing chemicals having nano-technology so once it dissolves the oil it gets into the food chain (Monsanto can you hear me?). NanoThermite is not required at this juncture, sorry demolition guys.

c. We need some new submersibles able to handle extreme pressures and incorporate a live person within the pod so a human can actually witness firsthand what is happening, plus film it to make a blockbuster movie (IMAX 3d quality only). I have a screenplay and some actors that are calling me already. James Cameron let’s do lunch and have your people talk to my people OK.

d. Let’s bring in Al Gore to help setup a charity for this and get his connections to donate (Google and Apple are you listening?) I heard you are making record profits again.

e. A thought to the Top Riches 1 percent of the world population. You can come out of the closet now and participate in humanity and make it your’ noble cause. You may also ask for forgiveness for all the wars you started and atrocities you committed over the last hundred years. I’m sure with the right public relations you can come out of this smelling like roses, daffodils, or fresh cut forest, whatever gets your concrete hearts started in the morning. Maybe you can learn a lesson from Daffy Duck. Miser Duck

3. Now that we have the capital, equipment, and a couple of philanthropies in place let’s get the human element involved.

a. I say we offer any unemployed or underemployed US citizen that is willing to risk their lives for humanity given first shot. We pay them top wages and give them a respirator and chemical suits to help in the clean up along the beaches, marshlands, and waters. They can also help save any species that this oil comes in contact with, birds, sea turtles, shrimp, etc.

b. For the millions of illegal immigrants, we can offer them a one time deal of helping for the purpose of obtaining citizenship or pay them enough to purchase a home and return to their respective country since not all illegal immigrants are from Mexico. Offer bonuses if they can work 18 hour days and live on a diet of gruel and fluoridated water only. No MRE's or Bottled water allowed, Pineros have been doing this for years. We are at war and sacrifices must be made for this effort.


So now we have a plan, I’m sure there are some minor details but I did not have a team of policy experts, military funding, and support of government agencies. I just wanted to contribute as a “Citizen of Humanity,” please feel free to use any of my ideas if this will help save humanity. I would like to know if a lobbyist is willing to donate some bucks and help write a bill to support this cause since they are so good at writing our laws anyway and know how the system works better than I do.

I will keep things up to date on my blog to see if any of this is implemented by a government agency or institution. For those willing to help monitor the situation please let me know via my blog what some of your ideas are or if you see any of this being usefull.

Don Zurdo is signing off.